A Year Ago Today…

Posted on 21 May 2013 by liljan98

On 21 May 2012 I went to a job interview; the first job interview for me in years. It was for a job I really would have loved to get and… well, I did get it. Wooohooo!
I’ve started working in this job in September which is almost 3/4 year ago. Unbelievable. And looking back on this year now is a very weird feeling. On the one hand I can’t believe a whole year has already passed. On the other hand I can’t imagine working in the previous job any more. It’s been a huge change and definitely all for the better, even though I still sometimes feel overwhelmed and unprepared and inept for this job. But hey, that’s just me and I did/do that with almost everything I do, so that’s nothing unusual after all :-) .

I feel like the anniversary of the date that brought such a monumental change in my life deserves some kind of celebration, but this blog post will have to suffice, because I’m too groggy for anything that resembles some kind of celebration. It was the first day at work after a long weekend and the first day of work in a new week always makes me groggy. Previous job or current job, I’m just not a Monday (first day of a week) kind of girl :-)

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Scotland in August 2012, Day 07

Posted on 20 May 2013 by liljan98

So, I remembered that there were still tons of photos from my Scotland trip on my hard drive, which I haven’t posted yet. Yes, posting them 9 months after the trip is actually kind of pathetic and maybe I should have dropped the doing it day by day thing and just pick a few of the best ones and do it all in one post.
I pondered that after I had already worked on the bunch of photos from day 07, so maybe I’ll do that with the rest of the photos. Or maybe not ;-) I’m kind of a weird mood today, hopefully it’s just the weather dragging me down. Anyway, here’s the next batch of photos

Day 07: Isle of Skye
We stayed on Skye for two nights, so we had a full day to tour the island which is a pretty island with lots of great spots to visit, but unfortunately it was foggy for a while, so we had to miss out on some stuff. The Old Man of Store for instance. It’s visible in one of the photos, but just barely.
We still had a great time, because the scenery was just so different from what we see around here in central Europe. Did I mention in one of my previous Scotland posts that one of the most marvellous things about this trip was to see how different the sky and the clouds are in Scotland? And not just different from Germany, but even within Scotland there was such a variety of clouds and sky. Does that make any sense? Maybe not. I guess you had to be there to see it :-)

On Skye we also saw the grave of Flora McDonald, but I included those photos in my first post about all things Scottish Outlander just a few weeks after the trip, so I didn’t include them this time.

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First Cycling of the Season…

Posted on 19 May 2013 by liljan98

I had quite a few plans (no big plans, like going out doing stuff, but more like finally getting some things done, chores and all) for this long weekend, but I haven’t been all that productive yet, which makes me feel bad about myself already.
But I should give myself a break. I had to work yesterday (Saturday) afternoon, so I had to leave my apartment around 13:00 and didn’t get back until 20:30. Not much time to get done in the morning, especially as I needed to catch up on some sleep, after getting up super early on Friday to catch the Grey’s finale live :-) .

bike I was mildly productive today and also finally found the time to nag Bro3 to get my new bike ready for me to use it *g*, i.e. to mount the cyclocomputer and the water bottle cages on to it. I had actually not planned to go on a ride today, but then I started to feel bad about being so lazy, especially as the weather forecast only had rain and rain and more rain for next week, so I wouldn’t be able to go on a short ride then either.

So in the end, I managed to overcome my laziness (go me!) and went out to a short (7.5 km, 30 minutes) ride in my neck of the woods, so to speak.

elevation01_2013   The elevation difference of this tour used to be no big deal a few years ago, when I was in much better shape. But at one point at the top of the steepest “hill” I was so exhausted and not just out of breath, but actually oxygen deprived. Or whatever it is that makes you dizzy and makes your chest hurt.

It was kind of pathetic, really, and a good sign that I really need to get back on my bike regularly. Well not back on the bike in the truest sense of the word, because it’s a new bike and this was the first time I used it :-) And even though I felt pretty bad during the ride, I felt really good afterwards, but that’s the whole point of it all, isn’t it? Besides knowing about the positive effects on my health, it’s the endorphines that make the ordeal of climbing hills and making miles worth it, right? Too bad, that the weather will keep me from doing it again over the next few days.

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My Thoughts on the Grey’s Season 9 Finale

Posted on 17 May 2013 by liljan98

I gave up writing Grey’s Anatomy reviews here over two years ago, because even though I couldn’t give up on the show, I wasn’t interested in spending a lot of time dissecting an episode and what parts I enjoyed and which I didn’t and why and all.
For some reason I felt compelled to gather my thoughts on the season 9 finale, even though I thought most of the events and storylines were bordering from mediocre to ludicrous as most of Grey’s has become in the last few years. But there were some monumental moments for a MerDer shipper as well, which warrents a review. I think :-)

Continue reading →

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Things On a Scale Fom 1 – 10

Posted on 15 May 2013 by liljan98

Stress at work = 8
I’d say the mere work load is “only” a 6, but the self doubt and worry about my own performance and all adds another 2 to make it a solid 8.

Level of exhaustion = 7
I don’t get enough sleep and recently a lot of the sleep I do get is rather restless. Might be related to the first item in this list.

Healthy Eating Habits = 4
Stress and exhaustion make me snack way too much. I haven’t gained weight recently, but my goal should be to loose some and I definitely am not doing that at the moment. There is too much chocolate for that. I also tend to forget to drink enough water throughout the day, which probably also adds to the exhaustion and to…

My Level of clumsiness and forgetfulness = 7
Once again, probably related to lack of sleep and stress at work. I’m too ashamed to admit of how many things I lost or misplaced or just slipped out of my hands or slipped my mind.

State of health = 4
My sort of strained left ankle is still bothering me a bit sometimes, on Saturday my right knee started acting up for no apparent reason and it’s still hurting quite often, even if not as much as it did on Sunday. I’ve also got some dental problems and the one tooth still hurts since this afternoon, when the numbing from this morning’s visit to the dentist wore off.

Fun Activities = 5
Not too much fun stuff going on at the moment, because I a) don’t have the time and b) don’t have the energy, but the things I did (seeing a great movie/TV them concert by a symphony orchestra) or started doing (picked up geocaching after a loooong break) were/are a lot of fun.

Soothing Effect of Outlander audiobooks = 8
:-) What can I say? I love the story and I love the narrator, Davina Porter. Getting into my car and switching on the audiobook really helps to calm me down after work and to forget about the stress of it all.

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Photos From the Zoo

Posted on 11 May 2013 by liljan98

10 days ago I spent a very nice day at the zoo and since then had wanted to share photos. I had already sorted through them and uploaded them to this blog, but then never got around to finish the process of tagging and sharing them.
I had either a lot of other stuff on my mind or was too exhausted (my mind, most of all, probably from all that other stuff, work and all) to do anything else then vegetate on the couch in front of my TV. I really don’t like this tendency of mine to shut down and vegetate when things get busy or overwhelming. But as spring seems to have finally arrived here in Germany (and hopefully will stay for a while until summer will take its place) my mood and energy seemed to have picked up a bit.
I plan to do a lot more of geocaching, which I have woefully neglected last year and this afternoon I’m finally going to buy a new bike. I had already picked it out a few weeks ago and yesterday finally took it for a short test drive on the shop’s lot. This afternoon I can pick it up and then Bro3 will just have to mount the cyclo computer, the water bottle holders (or whatever those are called) from my old and rusty bike to the new bike and then I’m hopefully good to go on some bike rides next week. The old bike had a soft cushioned saddle, which the new one doesn’t, so the first few rides won’t be too long, so my backside can get used it :-)

Anyway, here are the zoo photos (just click to enlarge)

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Attempt To Shut Up the Nagging Voice in My Head

Posted on 6 May 2013 by liljan98

I just got home from an informative event, which I had organized or helped organized (because the concept, speakers etc. were already all planned before). It all went well, I think. At least it ran smoothly, the audience was getting all the information they needed or wanted to know.
Instead of being content with the fact that it all went well and without a glitch or failure from anyone involved though, I’m beating myself up over something that might not even be an issue. But which in my mind I already have built up to be an issue. Without getting into too many details…

The owners of two of the 15-20 small firms we cooperate with in the field, which we were informing about tonight, let me know in advance that they would attend the meeting as well. I forgot to tell my division manager who gave a short speech at the beginning and moderated the event.
If he had known about their attendance he might have mentioned them and thanked them for coming. I’m not even sure if those two guys actually even came tonight, as they didn’t walk up to me or to the division manager (who I think they must have met before and thus know) to tell us they were there or to introduce themselves. I have no idea if they would have expected to be mentioned/introduced, if they had indeed been in attendance. I have no idea if they are now pissed at me/us that they have been ignored.

So, rational recap: I have no idea if they were there and what they expected and how they reacted to what they did or did not expect. But…. I’m freaking myself out over the mere possibility that they maybe have been offended by not being mentioned. The judgemental, self-depreciating bitch inside my head hasn’t stopped nagging me about it and has painted the negative aftermath (getting angry phonecalls + complaints, being reprimanded etc.) in cinematic scope while I was driving home.

Maybe having written this blog post, will help her to just STFU :-)

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Jumble of Thoughts 014

Posted on 5 May 2013 by liljan98

I so needed this weekend. I needed this time to chill and just do nothing. Except for cleaning my apartment (more or less thoroughly), getting groceries, doing the laundry, catching up with Grey’s and playing game after game of the 2 minutes challenge of Triple Town. I’m definitely addicted to that game on my phone at the moment. It’s pathetic. In the hours between writing this post (Saturday night) and posting it (Sunday around noon) I discovered another equally addictive game for my phone. Please send help! :-)

Besides all the stuff mentioned above, I’m still trying to recover from a stupid bronchitis, which started as a annoying, but ordinary cold last week. I had a persistent cough last weekend already, but I thought it would go away like most ordinary colds do. But it obviously didn’t. I don’t have the wet cough which I usually experience when I’ve got bronchitis, but on Friday my GP diagnosed bronchitis nonetheless. What was troubling me this time were bronchospasms of some sort, which I hadn’t experienced before. I got some meds for it and last night it felt like it was getting better, but this morning I’m not so sure *sigh* I sometimes sound like I’ve spent decades working in a coal mine, coughing and wheezing. It’s annoying.

° ° ° °

Work was busy all week and some things didn’t work out as planned and of course I immediately started blaming myself for what didn’t work out and was wondering what I did wrong so things didn’t work out. I really wish I would learn to not act that way and to not immediately think I’m at fault. But that’s easier said than done.

° ° ° °

The IHHF World Championship of Hockey started in Helsinki, Finland on Friday. Germany played against host Finland in the evening and I admit I expected my team to get steam-rolled by the Finns. But they stood their ground and even managed to get in the lead, a few minutes before the end, which was a very exhilarating feeling :-) Unfortunately Finland scored again and then won in overtime. But it was still great to see that Team Germany playing well and having the chance to beat Finland. Now they just need to stay out of the penalty box in the next games, because they took too many penalties in this first game. It was nerve wrecking.

° ° ° °

May 1st is a public holiday in Germany (and most of Europe, I guess) which I spend visiting friends, who live a 1-hour-drive away. It’s not that far, but with all of our lives being so busy we usually only see us a few times during the year. But when we do, we usually spend the whole day or at least long nights with each other to make up for it. We spend the afternoon in the zoo and had wonderful time all around, with a yummy breakfast in the late morning and a nice dinner in the evening. The only thing that disturbed parts of that day was my coughing and wheezing :-)

I had planned to end this post with pictures from the zoo, but sorting them and all took longer than planned and thus the photos will follow later today. I’m planning to spend some time in my Mom’s garden before Bro3 and I will watch the second game of Team Germany together this afternoon.

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Just a Few Hockey Photos

Posted on 28 April 2013 by liljan98

When I checked the photos I took at the Cologne Sharks’ season farewell party, I realized there were still photos on it from the hockey game in Hamburg in March. Neither set of photos are any special, but I wanted to share them nonetheless. Even if to just prove that I had great seats, directly behind the player’s bench in Hamburg.

Cologne lost against Berlin in the playoff finals this year, which sucked, because losing the championship to Berlin sucks even more than losing it to any other team. Well, maybe except for the DEG, but they had no shot at the cup this year.
So, yeah, losing the finals sucked, but all things considered, we had a great season. I honestly didn’t expect the season to go so well, because the past few seasons (from 2008 on) were really bad ones in which it wasn’t a lot of fun to be a hockey fan in Cologne. But this year had been a great one. And it had been a special one, as the club celebrated it’s 40th birthday. We saw some great games, the anniversary game was fun and so was the farewell party. Most of the players will stay in Cologne which makes me really hopeful for next season, because it’s great team, with excellent players and an amazing team spirit.

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The Comfort of the Familiar

Posted on 27 April 2013 by liljan98

Yet another blog post from me, I seem to be on a roll here. Even though I’m not quite sure who’s even reading this. I shouldn’t really pay attention to the blog statistics, because I didn’t start this blog (or it’s predecessors, to be precise) for a certain readership. I started it to to have place to just put down some thoughts about some stuff. Yes, publicly, instead of just putting it all in a private journal, because I wanted to share these thoughts with someone. To share these thoughts with online friends I know and maybe even with people I don’t know (yet). To just put it out there.
After all these years of blogging I still haven’t really figured out why I wanted to share some stuff online though, because in my offline life (so to speak) I’m not someone who easily shares “private” stuff with strangers. Unlike some random people who sit next to you on the subway and in 10 minutes it takes to get to your destination have told you the story of their life :-)

Anyway, I’m digressing. So, I still haven’t figured out what exactly do with this blog these days. Maybe I shouldn’t put any pressure on myself to do anything special with it. It never has been a special interest blog after all, just a place for some random thoughts of mine. Maybe I’m all thought out by now? I hope not. Nowadays there is just little room left besides work for other (interesting) stuff to happen in my life. Or if there is then most of the times I’m too exhausted to write about it afterwards.

I think I’ve mentioned how exhausted I am these days quite enough in these last few posts. It’s strange, because I didn’t feel like this when the huge change (full time job etc.) actually start to take place last fall. Maybe the adrenalin of the new-ness of it all made up for it. In 2013 the demands of the job, which I still like very very much by the way, might be taken their toll. There also was a long, dark, cold winter and not that much sun and light yet.
The huge change might also be the reason why these days I seem to prefer the familiar stuff over the unfamiliar. The known over the unknown. I’ve always been the cautious type who didn’t on a whim enter into the unexplored land of the unfamiliar. Whether that’s in life choices or vacation destinations or food or the question of what TV shows to watch :-) Most of the times I like to know what I’m letting myself get into. I like to know my way around things. I really just like the familiarity of things.
These past few weeks I’ve noticed that especially in regards to entertainment (TV, books, music) I’m even much more into familiar things and have no desire to give new stuff a try than before. I haven’t picked up a new novel in weeks and even the last ones I read were parts of a novel series, which once I started to read of course felt all very familiar. I prefer to listen to the Outlander audiobooks these days, even though I already now the complete saga quite well by now.
Over the last few weeks a lot of new TV shows also have been recommended to me, but I prefer to re-watch the Gilmore Girls instead, because I know them and I know that I like them. I honestly don’t feel the desire to give a new novel or TV show a try. I hope the desire for all the familiar stuff is really just the way my mind comes to terms with the huge changes the job caused in my life. Otherwise I maybe should have my head examined, because I used to like trying out new TV shows ;-)

Or maybe I’m just lacking Vitamine D and sunlight and fresh air, because it just hadn’t been really outdoor weather for months now. I try to get out regularily during my lunch break, but that’s probably not enough. I can’t wait for the summer or at least a nice spring to finally arrive here in Germany.
I plan to buy a new good bike this spring, because I really have to get back into the doing more healthy stuff and be more active. And cycling is about the only sport I really enjoy doing, so I want to get back to doing it and to enjoy it. For that I really really need a new and good bike. I have set my eyes on one in our local bike shop and now that I’ve got the money from my tax return back, I can afford to buy it. Or not really afford it, because I could also use that money for other stuff like saving for a real vacation and all. But I think the bike and starting to get more active and healthy should be a priority right now and thus the money will go to the bike. Once I find the time to actually get back to the shop and take the bike for a short test drive. Next weekend, hopefully.

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